I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
