so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
