i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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