Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
