I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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