Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
