i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
