I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
