I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
