It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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