Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
