I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
