I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
