she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Randomize
