why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
