I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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