I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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