the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I think i got beer on your cat.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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