so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
