You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
