The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
