i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize