she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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