Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
A bitchslap is in order.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
