Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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