I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
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He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
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So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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