u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
