They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize