So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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