I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
