So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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