maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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