She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We need to feng shui this bitch.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
