apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
