I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Who died my cat blue again?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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