the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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