after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
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Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
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Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30