I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.