i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
