People in love make me want to vomit
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
