the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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