wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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