I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
