But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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