my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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