I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize