Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
