He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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