I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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