Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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