At least make sure they are 18
Why
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
