her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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