I must be too annoying 4 u.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
