What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
