Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
