best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
