? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Randomize
