he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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