you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
